I hate to do this, as we’ve had so many good times. But I’m breaking up with you.
You see, the main reason I enter a relationship with a phone is… to make phone calls. And you’re just flaking on me constantly. I really believe I’ve tried here. Sometimes I’ll even completely ignore real people around me just to talk on you, and you drop me like I’m week-old Chinese food.
But I must say, I think I may never have the same excitement at the beginning of a relationship as I did with you. It’s like you’ve raised my standard for what a phone could be. And because of that, I’ve found someone new…
I know this must be hard for you to hear, but The HTC EVO really meets my needs. It has most of your apps, it has 4G cable modem speeds, and it’s a wifi hotspot. And on top of all that, it’s a lot less money every month.
Yes, I know what you’re thinking. I told you I was done with Sprint and I’d never go back. But in all these years, Sprint has improved everything. They’re a totally different company now, even their customer service.
I have to let you know, I’ll be staying good friends with your family. I love your uncle Mac Book Pro, and your cousin iPad. And hey, if you’d like, you can stick around as my iPod with benefits.
Thank you for all the great years we had together.
P.S. – I’ve heard the rumors that you’re network-curious now. I’m glad to hear you’re so open-minded to change!