The Superior Man (The David Deida Workshop – Part 1)

If you're a man, and you haven't read Way of the Superior Man, pick it up immediately.  It will either save your current relationship or your next one. (If you're a woman, do not tell a man to read it.  Simply leave it around somewhere for him to check out on his own).  I first read the book about 4 years ago.

The book is about the tragic loss of masculinity within our culture, and the triumphant rise of men who dare to claim it back.  If I can share one story, it would be a simple parable of a man coming home on the day he won his million dollar contract.  He's so happy and overjoyed, but when he gets home, his woman smiles briefly and quickly asks, "Did you remember to bring the milk?"…  So how does the man react?

The man is severely disappointed.  He just accomplished a major goal, and all his woman can think of is the milk (which he did forget).  Now I could identify with this man.  How could this woman be so insensitive?  I would have felt thoroughly deflated in this situation…  Little did I know, I was identifying with the weaker man.    

David re-tells the story, only this time the man hears the question and instead picks her up his arms, kisses her and says, "Baby, I'll buy you all the milk you could ever want!"  And she melts in his arms.   What's the major difference here?  In the second story, the man is unperturbed.  He doesn't need her validation.  He's so secure in who he is and his own purpose, that any question or complaint from his woman can't shake his resolve.   Wow. I had totally missed the boat.

Cut to 4 years later, and I'm sitting in a room with the superior man himself, and 300 men and women, in the hills of San Diego.  Each person clearly committed to their own growth, to their partner, or their future partner.

Next… Part II – The Source of All Pain